Seven co-workers, sports, and picks all for a can of Chunky soup!! Sorry Mrs. McNabb, you're on your own here...
Thursday, March 16, 2006
HOW TO PICK A TEAM FOR MARCH MADNESS
This is the time of year where men try to demonstrate there sports knowledge by picking who will win the NCAA basketball tournament. Every guy thinks his system is the best. But I think I have found the best system period! I discovered the system as I was visiting one of my favorite web sites:
www.npr.orgThis is what I found:
First, pick the teams with the worst Graduation Success Rate (GSR). The Institute for Diversity and Ethics in Sport produces a study each year that breaks down college athletic programs (
here's the whole thing in PDF format). Being the cynical kinda guy I am, I figure that they're admitting -- how do you say -- that some athletes are not exactly university material... but they can play basketball. The GSR percentage gives us the first variable.
Next, I threw in their seed and
using Mike Pesca as my guide, I factored in their mascots. Finally, I had to give each team an x-factor, so I Googled them all and found one thing that I liked or annoyed me about them and gave them a number value for that.
So, here's the math, the lower the score the better:
Nevada: GSR: 14%. Seed: 5. The Wolfpack mascot is weak and unthreatening in an environmentalist pro-wolf era: +5. Casinos and strip clubs in walking distance of campus and brothels within an hour drive: -3. No players or coaches caught in hooker/drug scandal +4. Total: 25
Memphis: GSR: 25%. Seed: 1. The mascot is a weird looking tiger, could eat all other mascots in competition, except for the UAB dragon: -6. Head Coach Calipari a jerk: -3. Total:17
Texas: GSR: 25%. Seed: 2. The longhorn cow mascot is a vegetarian animal: +5. Lost Big 12 Championship: +3. Total: 35
UAB: GSR: 29%, Seed: 9. Dragon mascot, cool but not real: +2. But has Dungeons and Dragons fans: -3. Star player nicknamed Squeaky, which is cool: -5. Total: 32
Pittsburgh: GSR: 29%. Seed: 5. The mascot, a mean looking panther, would give the Memphis Tiger a good fight before dying: -5. Associate Head Coach Barry "Slice" Rohrssen was in Glengarry Glen Ross: -10. Head Coach Jamie Dixon got dunked by babes in beer commercial: -4. Total: 15
Go Pittsburgh! First game is Friday night against Kent State.
Posted by Trevor Hammack at 5:51 AM
posted at 1:20 AM
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posted at 1:10 AM
Cool blog, interesting information... Keep it UP »
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